Dealing with Rejection Letters. Is it you or is it them?

I’ve already talked about the do’s and don’ts of querying. See: http://astorybookworld.blogspot.com/2011/04/query-letters.html

Sometimes the reason why you were rejected has NOTHING to do with your book so you shouldn’t take it personally.

Below are some real agents. (Names obviously changed.) And some real rejection letters (names also changed)

You can be doing everything right as an author and still get a rejection. Take a look. This is enlightening.

Agent: Mrs. Peacock

Experience: 12 years

Location: NY, New York

Represents:

FICTION Commercial Fiction Crime/Detective/Police Fantasy Mystery Romance Science Fiction Thrillers/Suspense

NON-FICTION Biography & Memoirs Celebrity, Pop Culture, Music, Film & Entertainment History & Military Religion & Spirituality Science & Technology Self-Help

Yesterday I found out my husband has colon cancer. I couldn’t sleep last night. I don’t have insurance and I don’t know how we are going to afford treatment.

My husband and were high school sweet hearts. We have four adult children and seven grand-children. We haven’t told our family about the cancer, we're debating whether we should.

I just picked up a new author and wish I hadn't. They call almost everyday asking if I've sold their manuscript. I’m tempted just to sell the thing to anyone at a give away price then not renew their contract for their next book.

I’m not going to be taking on very many new clients if any. I need to spend more time with my husband since I don’t know how much longer he’ll be around.

Agent: Professor Plum

Experience: 23 years

Location: NY, New York

Represents:

FICTION none

NON-FICTION Biography & Memoirs Business & Finance Celebrity, Pop Culture, Music, Film & Entertainment Current Affairs & Politics History & Military Medical, Health & Fitness Self-Help Sports

Submission guidelines: Online Form

If something comes through my mail I recycle it. I don’t even look to see if it has a SASE. It’s a waste of two stamps if you mail something to me. All queries in my email inbox get deleted. There is a reason why I have an online form. My online form program has filters so I can look up key words such as “previously published” “referred by” “Memoirs” and “POW survivor”

I don’t even take fiction and the online form is a great way I can easily filter out all the “badies”.

I just got back from a lunch with and editor from one of the big five publishers. She is looking for a book about over coming addiction.

Time to enter “addiction” and “recovery” in my query letter data base and see if anything good comes up.

Note: Your query will only stay on file for an allotted time. Usually 6-8 weeks.

Agent: Cornel Mustard

Experience: 37 years as an agent

Education: MA in English Literature from University of Michigan

Location: Boston, Massachusetts

Represents:

FICTION Mystery Thrillers/Suspense

NON-FICTION Biography & Memoirs Business & Finance Cookbooks History & Military Medical, Health & Fitness Multicultural Science & Technology Sports

Submission Guidelines: Snail mail ONLY

Why in the world do people keep sending me these silly romance books? Just because an author puts “regency” “paranormal” “historical” or “sweet” in front of “romance” doesn’t mean that I’m going suddenly start taking romance.

I can always tell if it’s going to be a romance query before I even open the envelope. It’s covered in hearts and smells like perfume. It’s as insulting as an author who puts a one cent stamp on their SASE.

I’m considering only picking up clients I meet in person at conferences and live pitches. They tend to be more serious and I’d be less likely to pick up a crazy.

Agent: Miss Scarlet

Experience: 3 years

Education: BA in literature from UCLA

Location: San Diego, California

Represents:

FICTION Action/Adventure Chick Lit Children’s Commercial Fiction Crime/Detective/Police Fantasy General Fiction Graphic Novels Humor/Satire Literary Fiction Military/Espionage Multicultural Mystery Offbeat/Quirky Science Fiction Thrillers/Suspense Women's Fiction Young Adult

NON-FICTION Biography & Memoirs Business & Finance Celebrity, Pop Culture, Music, Film & Entertainment Cookbooks Cultural/Social Issues Current Affairs & Politics Food & Lifestyle History & Military Humor & Gift Books Journalism Medical, Health & Fitness Multicultural Narrative Pets Reference Science & Technology Sports Travel True Adventure & True Crime Women's Issues

I just broke away from a major agency and started my own agency. Its time to start filling up that client list.

My goal is to sign thirty new authors this year. Hopefully I will find some good ones that will keep producing books. Whahoo! Look out New York! Here I come!

Agent: Mrs. White

Experience: 14 years as a literary agent, former acquisitions editor for Simon and Schuster.

Education: Law degree from University of Columbia

Location: NY, New York

Represents:

FICTION Family Saga Mystery Romance Thrillers/Suspense Women's Fiction Young Adult

NON-FICTION Business & Finance Celebrity, Pop Culture, Music, Film & Entertainment Cookbooks History & Military Humor & Gift Books Parenting

I only take clients who have had previous publishing experience. I carry a larger client list so I need authors who can write a great book the first time. I don’t have time to babysit them or edit their manuscripts over and over. I want them to produce. I’ll do a quick read through then sell those MS's. If a client wants to have a good relationship with me the best thing they can do is make me lots of money.

Agent: Mr. Green

Experience: 6 years

Education: BA English Lit

Location: Washington State

Represents:

FICTION Humor/Satire Literary Fiction Offbeat/Quirky

NON-FICTION Art & Photography Biography & Memoirs Humor & Gift Books Narrative

Just because my first name is Jamie doesn’t mean that I’m a woman. I can tell which authors haven’t done their research. Their query letters are addressed “Dear Ms. Jamie Green”. Give me a break. Speaking of break, yesterday I had a little accident while walking down the bleachers at my son’s little league game. I’m not going to be in the office until this blasted cast comes off. My intern is going to be handling all queries and she’s a lot tougher critic than I am, so good luck.

Real rejection letters:

Dear Joe,

Thanks for thinking of me. I would like to take a raincheck on your offer. My husband has lung cancer and is currently undergoing treatment, so I am not currently taking on new projects. I suggest that you contact me in about 6 months and we'll see how things are going at that point.

all best,

Jane

Dear Joe,

Jane asked me to get back to you and thank you for getting in touch, but unfortunately this isn't a good time for her because she is working from home with a broken ankle. Best of luck.

All best,
Bob

Dear Joe:

We are swamped beyond belief right now and i cannot take on even one more assignment.

Jane

Dear Joe -

Thanks for thinking of me. I'm afraid, however, that I'm about to go on maternity leave. If you'd like to be in touch again in a few months, I'd be happy to speak with you further.

Cheers,
Jane

Enlightening. HMMMM. Maybe agents are real people too. ;-)